F is for Fuchsia

Fuchsia is the color of the dress that actress Isla Fisher wears in the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. From the first time I saw this movie I loved it, but every time I get into a tight spot with money I watch it again. It serves as a reminder to me of how dangerous debt can be and it's a cute movie as well.

Now there have been times when I thought I had no money; when I was in debt and things seemed pretty bad. Well now I've proven things can get worse. I've never had to live "paycheck to paycheck" or look at the price of milk and bread and go for the less expensive one. But after a year of unwise spending and no saving, I've gotten myself into a hole thats too big to dig myself out of. 

I honestly don't even know where to go from here. The obvious answer is to stop spending and pay off all my credit cards, but what are you suppose to do when you don't even make enough money to pay bills and eat. I won't be able to keep my job if I don't have the gas to drive to it. I'm facing many hard decisions right now and unfortunately, I don't know the answers. One step at a time, right? One day at a time? 

I am thankful that I have a job, not my ideal career, but a job for the time being. It just seems like everything is a vicious circle though. For example: I have a retail job because I don't have a degree. I don't have a degree because I haven't finished college. I haven't finished college because I can't pay for it. I can't pay for it because I work a retail job. And you can see how this goes round and round. 

I know a movie is just a movie, but I habitually over-internalize every movie I see. From Confessions of a Shopaholic, I relate to seemingly unending bills and shortage of income. And unlike the girl in the green scarf, I do not own $10,000 worth of clothes and accessories to sell and auction off. But what I do have is a brain, and I suppose if I would use it more often and make wise decisions on how to spend/save my money I won't ever let myself get into this position again.

E is for Emerald

Ok so I know in the last post I said I was going to use electric green as my color of choice for the letter E, but after staring at a blank screen for 15 minutes and then proceeding to google about things that were "electric green" I decided to go for a more common color: emerald.

This is the color that my cousin Veronica chose for her bridesmaids' dresses in her wedding this past weekend. I really like the dress, just don't know if/when I'll ever wear it again. Bridesmaids dresses are always like that though aren't they? They'll look beautiful in all the coordinated and planned photo shots, but the true test of the dress is after the ceremony. When you're walking around at the reception pulling up the top of a strapless dress to keep it from falling, or picking it up off the ground so as not to tear and tatter the bottom hem. I can't name one bridesmaid's dress I've worn that was made for comfort. But I guess that's not the point of the evening. The purpose of the bridesmaids is to make the bride feel at ease on one of the biggest days of her life; to zip up her dress, repin a loose hair, and in my case, carry her train down the aisle. I've often thought about who I'd have as bridesmaids in my future wedding. I know I'd have some family members, but when it comes to friends, I'd want to choose someone who I'd still be in contact with 10-15 years later. Someone who'd also be there to celebrate the birth of my first child or help me make decisions when I want to redo all the cabinets in my kitchen. But life is so fleeting, a bff today could move far away, or one day decide my friendship is no longer beneficial in their life. Only time will tell. Good thing is I'm not planning a wedding any time in the near future so I still have plenty of time to think of that. Until then, I'll enjoy celebrating my friends weddings and if I'm fortunate enough, be a special part of their big day!

D is for Dandelion

Ok so this is kinda cheating...I know a dandelion is a flower, but it's also a crayon color so I'm going to use it.

Dandelion is the color of my ethernet cable that I use in my house thanks to AT&T

I had more trouble setting up this internet than anything else. About 2 months ago I received my first delivery of the wireless modem from AT&T. I waited until my designated registration time and attempted to put it all together. I even invited my friend Daniel over for assistance in case I couldn't figure it out myself. After a couple of failed attempts at connecting all the wires together Daniel called the 1-800 number listed on the contents package. He spent about 10 minutes on the phone and ended the conversation when AT&T said they'd send a technician out later the same week.

My visit from the AT&T technician went well. He basically said something on the outside of the house had not been connected properly so there was no way that I could've gotten the internet started on my own (go figure).

Everything worked wonderfully until I left the house for a couple days. When I came home the wireless light on my modem wasn't green like it was suppose to be, it wasn't on at all! :(

I immediately got on the phone with AT&T again and after 10 minutes of talking to an automated machine I finally reached a representative. The guy said they'd send another modem out because my first one was most likely defective (wonderful!)

I received the new one 3 days later, put everything together and it worked on the first time. But when I left for a few days I came back to find the wireless light off again. After getting angry and calling AT&T again, the new representative I spoke with found out that I need to keep the ethernet cord plugged into the modem, even if I'm not using it, just so the modem knows that something wants to connect to it.

All that to say, I now have a reliable source of wireless internet and the responsible party is my dandelion colored ethernet cable!

Have a good day y'all and tune in tomorrow for "E is for Electric Green"

C is for Crimson

The only time I've ever heard this color referenced is in the Bible. Depending on what translation you read from, crimson is used several times in the Bible. The verse that comes to mind for me is the following...

This morning I woke up to my door bell ringing, I was still mid slumber as I hurriedly walk to the door while simultaneously putting on a sweatshirt. I opened the door to find two nicely dressed ladies (whom I correctly assumed were Jehovah Witnesses) wanting to share some articles with me. They were discussing religion and politics and one of the ladies proceeded to share some verses with me from John and 2 Timothy. After their 5 minute presentation I accepted the 2 magazines they gave me and closed the door. I sadly realized that was the first time I had seen the inside of a Bible in who knows how long. I probably own 5-6 Bibles in different translations and languages but do I take the time to read them? That would be a no. In the last couple months I started going back to church after a 4 year hiatus. But the practice of daily Bible reading has yet to become present in my life. Perhaps this verse in Isaiah comes to mind because I need to know, personally, that my sins cannot be absolved on their own. But more than that, it's a reminder that God's power of restoration is greater than any of my futile attempts. I desire to be pure as snow, white as wool, and with God's forgiveness I know it's possible.

B is for Brown

When I think of brown I think of the crayon I had to always use when making self portraits in elementary. While some of the other girls were using the yellow, blue, green, red, I used brown...for my eyes, for my hair, for my skin. I could only get creative when I'd draw my clothes. I was usually wearing a purple or red dress with a heart in the middle of it.

Brown is also the color of my mom's upright piano that now sits in my home. Piano is the daily vacation of my life. No matter what time I get home from work, I'll always spend a little time tickling the ivories. There's just something so soothing and relaxing about making music. Recently I played 45 minutes of background music for my grandma's funeral service. I think most people saw me up there and heard what I was playing, but others told me they didn't even realize the music was live; that I blended so well into the scene and the music just flowed naturally like everything was meant to be. Using my music, I was able to help facilitate a peaceful environment that would be the last time we would all say goodbye to our grandma. The power of music is unexplainable, the peace of music is undeniable, and my passion for music is unbreakable. I will continue to play piano until my dying breath, knowing that music will also carry me into the world to come. 

A is for Aqua

Well here begins my first ever blog, a webpage to call my own, a safe home for my creative thoughts and writing endeavors. I have chosen to organize these posts alphabetically. I figure it'll be easy for me to find later when I wanna go back and read through stuff and give an interesting format to this page.

So the first round I'm starting is colors:

A is for aqua

When I think of aqua I think of the ocean, more specifically South Padre Island. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I didn't see the ocean blue in any given year of my life. It seems like every summer in my early ages I was in my swimsuit on the edge of the water making what my dad called "drip castles". As I got older dad would take me fishing on the ocean and I distinctly remember catching a hammerhead shark around the age of 6 or 7. Then there was middle school when my family owned a condo on the beach, Suntide III. One of my favorites was when my friends Jacqui and Sarah came with the family to South Padre and we took modeling pictures on our balcony. In the most recent times I have gone parasailing, bayfishing, and the ever popular (and most cost effective) body boarding. As I write this, I have a strong notion that I'll soon be planning a late summer vacation to go spend at the beach with my best friend Jose. Maybe someday a time will come when I will wake up every morning to the sight of the aqua blue from my back porch.