Proverbs 31: The Words of a Wise Mother

I just have to start this by saying, reading Proverbs 31 as a wife makes SO much more sense than studying it as a high school youth. My youth pastor and Christian school teachers did a very good job explaining this chapter's intended meaning, but as I read this chapter of the book of Proverbs for the first time as a wife, it is so clear to me that I still have so much to learn! 

When I read the Bible, I try to understand it as if the writer was speaking directly to me. I know it was written a long time ago, but I believe the words of antiquity hold the same value and meaning today as they did when God first spoke them to His chosen authors. 

I would like to share my understanding of Proverbs 31 with you as I study it this morning.

Proverbs 31:1-31

The words of King Lemuel. 

An oracle that his mother taught him: 

"What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb?

What are you doing, son of my vows? 

Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 

Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 

Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy."

So honestly, I'm not sure who King Lemuel was, but I know he had a smart mother! Since I do not have a son yet, I don't completely understand the mother-son dynamic but I imagine a modern day translation would go something like this... 

Boy, what are you doing?! Do you remember what I taught you and the commitments you made as my sweet child? Do you realize you are in a position of power and people look to you for help? How can you make wise decisions for a city, a state, or a country if you are drunk? Leave the drinking to those who are suffering and to those whose life is better forgotten in a hangover. 

You are a leader and God has placed you there to speak for those who have no power to speak for themselves. Can you please use your position to speak truth and defend those who cannot defend themselves? 

As a leader you are going to need a wife who is on your side, a woman who will take care of the house, the kids, and you, of course, so that you can more efficiently do your job. Here are the kinds of things you need to be looking for in your wife; without her, you'll never be able to fulfill the role God has placed you in...

"An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels. 

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 

She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 

She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 

She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

Her lamp does not go out at night. 

She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 

She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 

She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 

Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 

She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 

“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

Reading this in high school, it sounded like such lofty ideals. I'm sure at that time, I could've quoted most of these verses if someone asked me to. But now I realize these aren't just ideals, this is for real! My husband and I both work and we do not have any kids yet, but the day runs so much smoother for both of us when I have made us breakfast, taken care of our dogs, prepared lunch, picked up the living room, made our bed, etc. 

I can just hear King Lemuel's mom telling him this; wholeheartedly praying for a woman who would take as good care of her son as she would...

Finding a wife who loves you and takes care of you is all I've ever wanted. She will be worth more to you than anything you ever thought you wanted! You should be able to completely trust your wife and know she always has your best interest at the forefront of her mind. While you are working, she will need to make breakfast, lunch and dinner so you can spend your time focusing on your job. Even if she has to drive all the way to Central Market to get your favorite chocolate covered espresso beans, she will. She loves you :-)

When it comes time to buy a home, you should trust that she will shop smart and find a place where you two can raise a family together. And you don't have to buy everything at the store, you know. Your wife should plant a garden so you can save time and money. And if you can grow grapes in Texas, ask her to plant a vineyard of grapes and make your own wine! :-D

Make sure you find a wife who doesn't obsess over what she looks like. She is yours and yours only and doesn't need to dress to win the heart of other men, if you know what I mean. Find a wife who is kind to everyone! As part of your support system, she needs to be able to help and agree with the way you are leading people. 

She should be the kind of person who plans for the future so you two don't have to worry if you'll have enough to eat or a place to live. She needs to be a wise woman who speaks with grace and truth. Your wife should make taking care of you and family a priority. This will show in how she loves you and takes care of the children (dogs). 

When you find her, never let go! Always let her know how much you appreciate her. She will be your strongest support in this life; so make sure you take every opportunity to love her, hug her and brag about her so that you friends and the people who follow you have an example of what a good wife is and won't settle for less. 

Yep, I'm pretty sure I have a lot to work on when it comes to being an excellent wife to my husband, but it's just so cool to read these words and see how they can be so applicable today. 

Love and Blessings, 

Brittney

Successful Interviews

So you’re sitting at home frustrated because you keep applying for jobs and all the applications seem to be online these days, but how is that even fair? I mean really, how are you supposed to stand out from the crowd when one key word is the difference between your resume coming up in an applicant search and getting forever lost in the cyber resume morgue? And then there is the interview. I know I’ve spent way too much time stressing out about how to prepare myself to be grilled on my strengths and weaknesses and for that inevitable “Why did you leave your last job?”

Well today, my words of advice will detail how to present yourself in an interview in such a way that you are the best candidate for that position. If you are interested in learning how to write an eye-catching resume, leave a comment below and I would love to make a follow up post discussing resume writing.

To make for easy reference I’ve written today’s post in a bulleted format.

Enjoy!

First Contact-Phone Interview

·      Establish continued interest in the position and set up the interview time

o   The call may be coming from a secretary or secondary employer (assistant manager) but every communication with the hiring company is an opportunity to impress.

o   If possible, schedule the interview at the earliest time the company can sit down with you. I’ve conducted several interviews and employers decide pretty quickly who they want to fill the position. Time is money, so save the employer time and interview early!

·      Identifier questions

o   It is possible that even in the first phone call you will be asked important questions regarding your weekly availability (for part time job) and date you can start. Know the answers to time sensitive questions; the more specific the better.

Now you have set up your in-person interview, so what’s next?

Read below…

In-Person Interview

·      Come prepared

o   Have past experiences in mind

§  Every interview will include questions that ask you to describe past experience. In the best-case scenario, you will have related work experiences that you can share.

§  If this is your first time job searching, school and even relationship experiences can be very helpful to highlight your interpersonal and self-management skills.

§  Almost without exception, you will have to deal with other people at your new job. Whether it is face-to-face customers, on-the-phone clients or just your coworkers and management; hiring managers need to feel confident in your ability to handle conflict and work with others.

§  Make sure to highlight your positive aspects in whatever past experiences you share.

·      Know your start date and availability

o   Not all job vacancies are predicted. What does this mean to you? The employer may have lost 2-3 very important employees and need to fill the positions quickly. The sooner you can start, the better.

o   This may not be the case with retail companies hiring in advance for seasonal and summer jobs. Just be sure to give an exact start date that an employer can document and look back to.

o   ASAP should never be the answer to “So when can you start?”

§  Yes, you may be desperate. You may be available “TODAY!” “RIGHT NOW!”, but desperation is not an alluring quality.

§  If you’re hiring for a typical office job, you can give the date of the soonest Monday. If the job is more flexible on hours just pick a date a few days away.

§  If you’re looking to be hired full time, availability shouldn’t be a problem. But if you’re trying to balance school or another part time job, go in knowing that your hiring employer is expecting you to work around whatever hours they need you.

§  Make your availability reasonable to work with or unfortunately, most employers will just move on to the next candidate.

·      Describe your strengths and weaknesses

o   Similar to preparing experience stories

o   Share strengths that make you valuable to position you are trying to fill

§  For example, “As an office assistant, I am very efficient at managing all clients with an empathetic demeanor, guaranteeing them a positive experience with the company I work for”.

o   Yes, you do have weaknesses. Give employers an example of something you had to improve on at a previous job and have actively turned into a stepping-stone.

§  For example, “When I worked at HEB I realized prioritizing daily tasks was an important aspect of the job I wasn’t prepared for. For future jobs, I now know learning what’s most important from the beginning will make me a more successful employee.”

·      Have an idea of how you are going to contribute as an employee

o   Give at least one significant reason why hiring YOU is going to benefit the company. Are you great at time management? Do leadership skills benefit you in solving conflict?

o   Be confident in your abilities and capitalize on them!

·      Familiarize yourself with the history and purpose of the company and position you’re interviewing for

o   Take an hour or so and look through the company website. No matter what your degree or experience, there’s just something impressive about an interviewee who knows the current CEO or the company’s mission statement and values

o   Looking over the website also gives you a clue into common jargon the business uses.

o   Most companies have acronyms and key terms for how they succeed. If you are able to work those into an interview answer discreetly, more props to you.

·      Bring a pen and notebook to take notes

o   Don’t over do this one and show up with a briefcase and 300-page journal. But I guarantee you, there will be things the employer says you will want to remember.

o   It’s also a sign of organization, which is a plus to any hiring employer.

·      Present yourself as an employee (part of the team)

o   Always have a confident demeanor. From the moment you walk in, know the name of the person you are meeting and carry yourself with peace and power.

o   Use professional language. This is not the time for sarcasm, jokes, or verbal hashtagging.

o   Wear formal clothing that is not distracting. As a hiring manager, clothes don’t matter unless you make it a problem. Think conservative yet bold. Ladies, don’t wear short skirts or printed materials. Gentleman, you can’t go wrong with a dark colored polo or buttoned long-sleeve.

o   Adapt to the environment of the interview. Although I just said this isn’t the time for joking, there are some managers that love to be humored. Feel out the mood and setting, and never be anyone but you.

·      Present yourself as an individual contributor

o   Do not misrepresent who you are or what you know

§  I promise, if you claim to have skills that you really don’t, it will come back to haunt you. Like the time that I said I was fluent in Spanish…turns out I’m not and now I’m having to study Spanish banking terms every day because that’s the main reason I was hired.

o   Come prepared with 2-3 questions (not pay/benefits related) that help you decide if this is the right job.

§  At the end of most interviews you will get asked “What questions do you have?” I’m willing to bet that most people just say they don’t have anything to add. So be different! Ask a question about what your specific job title requires of you or how the training process works.

Bottom line is, if you are knowledgeable and coachable most jobs will be available to you.

How you prepare for the interview is the best chance you have at securing your desired job!

Best wishes in your job search; I would love to answer any further questions you may have regarding interviews or resume writing.

Leave your comments below

Communication

I've really been in a writing/reading mood. I finally picked up a book for the first time in who knows how long and I've been journaling and writing blogs more often than I usually do. I think I'm just have a desperate need to communicate. Since I quit Academy back in September and especially since my wedding in November, my communication with people has been highly restricted. When once, I used to get 20 texts a day from friends having questions or wanting to hang out...now I get one or two a week. 

Since I teach piano lessons, I mostly follow a teachers annual schedule, meaning I've had the last month off work. So not only have I not been making any money, but I don't see people either. I've become set in my routine of sleeping in till 10, staying in pjs until 3pm and maybe doing a few productive things around the house. 

It's finally gotten to me. All this not talking. All this laziness. All this lack of productivity. I miss the days when I had 8 hours at work to talk with coworkers, argue with customers, and laugh with my managers. I miss the days when I'd sit in class struggling to stay awake and write notes to my friends just to keep my eyes open. 

My mind is constantly running. I even once went to a therapist where all we focused on was slowing down my thoughts. Mindfulness, she called it. 

This week I'll be starting up my piano and guitar lessons again. I'm adding two new students, brothers from a family that just moved from Tennessee. I'll be attending my first rehearsal of the Round Rock Community Choir. Friday will be a crazy day. I start my new nanny job in the morning and then after that's done, drive an hour to a family with 6 kids (1yr-9yr) and babysit for 3 hours. 

This will fix a few of my problems. Lack of income and interaction with people. But I still need friends I can talk to. I am so longing to just have some sort of intellectual debate with someone. Whether it be political, philosophical, biblical....I just need to talk and reason and THINK. Since college I've felt so dumb. I feel like if I don't use my brain, I'll lose it. I even offered to help write one of my friends history papers because I was needing something to exercise my intelligence. 

I feel like the only thing I'm good at right now is music. And that may be a stretch. I've gotten much better about practicing my instrument and I've had a few paid assignments sent my way which definitely require time on the keys, but there's still something missing. I really am not sure what. Maybe I want to be in a band. Maybe I want to write music. Maybe I want to get better at guitar. Maybe I want to learn a new instrument. God, I just wish I knew! The verse that's been circling around in my head for awhile is that God gives us the desires of our heart. But what if I don't know what I desire. I don't know what will fulfill me. I don't know what will make me feel satisfied. I don't know what purpose I serve. 

I have been blessed with so many things and yet I'm always wanting to acquire more things. The other day Justin said something totally unexpected to me. He said something like "You know, it's like that guy Solomon said, you could have all the things in the world and it still won't make you happy". Oh what a wonderful thing that Justin is using biblical references to make a point. That alone puts a huge smile on my heart. But in retrospect, my biggest downfall is my impulsive spending. I got my first credit card when I was 18 and since then I have spent close to $30,000 in STUFF. Things that don't matter...clothes, purses, CDs, books, furniture, clothes, clothes, movies. Seriously, none of that is worth the stress I've put myself thru now in having to pay all that back.

So the plan...accountability. I'm giving all my store cards and all but one of my credit cards to Justin. And every time I feel the need to buy something (excluding gas/food etc) I'll just text him and let him know. If he thinks I don't need it or it's just an impulsive buy,  he'll let me know and I walk out of the store. I'm hoping this works. No, I'm praying this works. If we ever want to have kids in our 20s I'm going to need to get this spending shit down. I'm so good at home doing my excel budget spreadsheets but in Michael Kors all I want is that precious new handbag. And you know Victoria's Secret always has a good sale going on. The killer one for me is Kohl's. Oh, but everything is 15%, 20%, 30% off! And I have a coupon....fuck coupons...they are the death of me. Convincing me that I'm saving money when I had to spend $400 to use it. There's a funny episode on the office where there's some sort of contest and the winner gets a coupon book worth up to $15,000. Oscar, in accounting, makes the statement that you'd have to spend $200,000 to actually save that much. Marketing and advertising people are good at what they do. That's for sure. 

Honestly, I don't have a point in today's blog. Just another rambling of thoughts. Because it's much faster to type this all up on my computer than to write in my journal. And when I post it on my Facebook I know at least one person will read it. 

I'm hoping with some of the new events I've added to my weekly schedule I will find what I've been missing. I'm hoping that with more accountability on my spending, I will learn how to save more than I spend. I'm hoping that every night I fall asleep I remember that the one who loves me the most is laying right beside me and is willing to help me every step of the way. 

Have a blessed week and know that you are loved :)